Infestation

Lice, mice, fies, fleas and children. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

This milk smells funny

As they get older kids tend to do less and less funny things. I guess Little Miss is at the stage where there are more embarrassing incidences then funny ones. Like having to explain about sperm banks. "How do the men get the sperm into the test tubes Mum? It's not like they can just pee in a cup."

What do you say?

Pain in the knee

I'm presently enjoying making jokes about having to cut off Little Miss' leg at the knee. She is in need of an arthroscopy to fix torn and malformed cartilage. I guess that now and then when the girl cries wolf there is actually one on the prowl.

Puddled up

I've purchased a pair of gumboots for Sir Whinge-a-lot. He LOVES them. So I asked him "what are they for?".

"Gumboots is for jumping in muddles Mum!".

The Don

I'd recently made a pot of percolated coffee at breakfast and left the pot on the stove with a little coffee left in it. In the afternoon I noticed Sir Whinge-a-lot playing with the pot and wrestled it off him only to find The Don sat at the table with a plastic cup of espresso. He was most incensed when I took it off him. Talk about a real wog.